Mary's Flybys: Home Remedies
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Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Home Remedies

Howdy! Just thought I would pass on these wonderful home remedies. I hope they help! hugs

1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.

3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
timer.

6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are.

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember...

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends. You never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Comments on "Home Remedies"

 

Blogger Angell said ... (May 1, 2007 at 11:48 AM) : 

WOOOOOOOOOOO Mary!

ROTFLMAO - I'm NOT passing these onto my husband cuz I'll wind up with #1.

 

Blogger Meribah said ... (May 1, 2007 at 5:36 PM) : 

Bwahahaha! These are good...and I rarely pass up a potty break...especially on long car rides! LOL :P

 

Blogger Travis said ... (May 1, 2007 at 8:39 PM) : 

Good safety tips and rules to live by!

 

Blogger SGT DUB said ... (May 2, 2007 at 10:21 AM) : 

Now these are certianly great tips to remember.

 

Blogger Anndi said ... (May 2, 2007 at 11:42 AM) : 

Partial to number 3 myself...

 

Blogger Gail said ... (May 3, 2007 at 5:59 AM) : 

Loved the whole thing, girlie!

But #1 does sound interesting...

hugs

 

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