This post is dedicated to Lee Ann, Dixie Hoochie, the birthday girl. Walking into the bar, Tony said to Vinny the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with Lee Ann." "Oh yeah?" said Vinny, "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Tony replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees". "Really," said Vinny, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?" She said, "Come out from under the bed, you big chicken." --------------------------------------------------- Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers like yourself. They include: Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone Abba--- Denture Queen. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again --------------------------------------------------------------- An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" ------------------------------------------------ So Lee Ann I leave you with some advice. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. So my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my memory bank sweetie, your such a joy, hugs! Have an awesome day!